There is much ado on facebook and the like these days about Mother's Day, and those who choose not to be mothers, or cannot be mothers, or become mothers by their sheer will and courage to keep fighting.
I am none of those mothers. I knew from a very early age that I wanted to be a mother. I remember clearly thinking in my elementary school years about what job I would have, and when imagining that I would always have a family with me. I believe I was born to be a mother. I even told Lee when we were engaged that I had a timeline in place, and he needed to be okay with that timeline because I was not changing it. We discussed, and maybe argued a little. There are many times in life when one should compromise. In this case, he compromised. I did not.
And therefore...I become a mother.
Now there's a child I can't hug on Mother's Day and it makes me sad. But I've decided instead to hug anyone I see who knew him on Mother's Day. Because if they knew him, then he is in their hearts, and if I can hug enough of them, it will make me feel him a little more, and hopefully he will feel me too. I'll start with his Dad and brothers. But like Lucy in Peanuts, the Doctor Is In (and I won't even charge 5 cents...)