Friday, July 08, 2016

Fixing

The last month or so has been about fixing. Fixing my attitude towards my reality, expressing less anger about things.

It was also about fixing in terms of health.  First my dad, with his very serious surgery (which went well, and his recovery at home continues to do well also). Then Lee, who had a minor spill off his bike but managed nevertheless to damage his left thumb to the point that he needs surgery also. Right now, I'm in the waiting room at the hospital, waiting to be brought back to sit with him until the surgery. Good Morning, America is on the TV, playing the press conference from the Chief of Police in Dallas, and I believe the Mayor. 

My dad needed fixing. My husband needs fixing. Our country needs fixing. There's not just one person  who can make it great again. America became great because the will of the people was to be great, and we strove together to make it so. We have to do better. We have to love each other before all else. 

I've seen the amazing things accomplished by love. Back in high school, there was some overwrought argument occurring during rehearsals for a show I was in with my sister.  She was so frustrated she started crying. I immediately started crying; it was utterly out of my control. Someone asked me, why are you crying? Because she's my sister, and I love her and I hurt when she hurts. I was 14 then. It's been almost 30 years since then, and now I cry with Alton Sterling's family, and with Philandro Castile's family, and with Dallas, and especially the families of the murdered police officers, as a whole. I cry with the families of all the victims at Pulse. I cry with the family of Trayvon Martin. I cry with all the grieving families, of all the victims of senseless crime and killing. These days, that means I'm crying every single day. 

I'm so tired of crying. It's time to change the story. It's time to look every person I encounter in the eye with an open heart and smile, and ask, how are you? Because we are all sad, and angry, and frustrated, and unsure of what to do. But I have to do something, and since it has to start somewhere, I'll start it in my community. You're on notice, community. I am coming for you with all the love I've got, and I will not let you down. 

If we all made that promise, how far could we get?