I know it's been very quiet here this year. It's been a difficult year, especially for one of my sons and in the interest of protecting his future employments I have not posted about it. As someone who worked for almost 15 years in hiring...the internet is forever.
However, I was talking about this person this week, and said out loud for the first time, you know when he turns 10, he'll have lived longer without his brother than with his brother.
I'll let that sink in. He'll just be hitting double digits. I'd have to live to be 84 and a half or so to reach that particular count.
Anyway, I couldn't get that sentence out of my head for hours afterwards. It just rolled around in here, bumping up against all the things I really needed to be thinking about. Finally, I pulled up a browser on my phone and looked up the days between Tucker's birthday and the day Connor died. It told me 1753 days are in that range. Then I started with the day Connor died and went to Monday.
It told me 1752 days.
Yesterday was the halfway point. After yesterday, the rest of his life will always be longer than his life with Connor. Today is the official start of that.
Why did I phrase that in a way that would cause this to become the main thing I was thinking about? I mean, I know myself pretty well (I think) and I had to have known that a toss-off remark would implant itself into my subconscious until I knew exactly what those numbers were.
In any case, here we are. He'd the first to reach this threshhold. Drew's will be a few months after he turns 14. That's 2021. I guess I can let this lie fallow until I get closer to that.
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