Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The All Clear

Back in the day, when Connor was first diagnosed, Lee and I would talk about how we were going to throw this enormous, hella party to celebrate when his EEG came back 100% clear. We had so many people to invite from the vast network of family and friends who supported us and him in those early days.

The closer we got to Connor's first birthday, the more it sank in that we would never get a 100% clear EEG. Undaunted, as we tend to be, we moved forward and had an enormous first birthday party for Connor, inviting basically every person we ever knew. The party was crazy - probably more than 70 people came to celebrate with us, and to accept our thanks for their love and support in this difficult year. In the same timespan of April 2004 to February 2005, we had been given a staggering diagnosis for our son, wallowed in self-pity and grief, contemplated splitting up due to extraordinary sadness on both our parts, learned to care for Connor the way he needed (including 42 injections - one per day, and then how to get enough food into him, and then how to get his medicine in and keep it there, and then, and then, and then...), realized that splitting up only weakened our position of Us-for-Him-Against-the-Rest, started getting sleep again, and then he was 1.

Anyway, the point is, for Connor we never got an all clear.

Today, I had another skin check. Which made me realize it's been 2 years since the cancer diagnosis and surgery. It felt like a LOT longer than 2 years had passed. As of this morning, I've been given the all clear. No recurrence. YAY! I called my mom after texting Lee on my way out to tell her I was released to GenPop for my skin. Now I only need to get checked once a year.

Not bad, really.

No matter what, your body keeps going.

So it's time for my mind to keep going too, and hopefully, my spirit.

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